User local gyro's mother-in-law burst into tears when the newlyweds didn't use the engraved toasting goblets she had gotten them. these 12 brave souls shared their biggest — and most hilarious — wedding fails. these 12 brave souls shared their biggest — … Take these Reddit users' stories, for example: When asked "Married people of Reddit, what went wrong at your wedding?" I had 'unplugged' my mom a couple of years prior. Now that’s what I call stupid: In my junior year of high school, this guy asked me on a date. He shows us how to suck the life force out of someone, by sucking on said girl dance partner of mine. See how your stories compare with these with these funny short stories you can share with the whole family. Introducing ... PEOPLE's Products Worth the Hype. But there was one little problem: She had never told the couple she had bought them. "He then tried to claim he was injured, and it was actually the catering truck that had hit him — and then sued the caterer, venue and those paying him." We found 15 of the most cringe-worthy How-I-Lost-My-Virginity stories on Reddit, and they’re pretty hard to read. As with most sites that thrive on social interaction, Reddit is addictive and time-consuming. Good Housekeeping participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. Police sirens. It was more like mindless meat-stabbing and after five endless minutes she went: ‘Are you looking for anything in particular?’ ”, “I was 17, and my more experienced girlfriend was 19. Dude doesn’t back down. And with this horrified look on her face she shook her head no. Far from just marching around and being yelled at by sadistic drill sergeants, basic training can be the source of hilarious stories. COMPLEX participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means COMPLEX gets paid commissions on purchases made through our links to retailer sites. Her brother walked in, she grabbed the blanket to cover herself up and quickly jumped off of me, and for some reason I quickly grabbed my phone and pretended I was texting. I told her I was going to go outside and have a smoke. We end up running into this eccentric guy who tells us he’s a vampire, and 400+ years old, even though he looked to be in his mid 20s. He goes full creeper, trying to make out with her, telling me we can have a three-way. Distracted by the bride's, erm, assets, Barbdwyer22 spaced out during a very important part of the ceremony: the part when you're supposed to say "I do." Then, after a few minutes, I realize that it’s not that it doesn’t feel awesome, it’s that I don’t feel anything at all. It was a triple-thick desensitizing lubricated condom for guys with stamina problems.”, “She was on top of me, we were on her bed, the door was on the opposite wall behind her. If you have no regrets about the way you lost your virginity, we’re really happy for you! What made you laugh the hardest in your entire life? By January Nelson Updated September 29, 2018. So we get in my car and drive to the nearest pharmacy, and then came the second most awkward part; this was a different pharmacist, and this one did not have any condoms on display, so I had to ask an elderly lady for condoms for gentlemen with extra girth. Get push notifications with news, features and more. ”, “I tried to finger her without any knowledge of what I was doing. Funny, Hospital, Silly, Tech Support, USA | Right | October 30, 2020 Back in the day, one of my customers was the cafeteria at a local hospital. ". Note to self: Check on the state of your DJ's love life before allowing him or her to work your wedding. A Few More Short Comedy Stories. That one is not going on either, and I’m standing there with a boner in one hand, unrolled condom in the other muttering apologies and feeling absolutely ridiculous. As the night wears on, he gets weirder and weirder. We left shortly thereafter.”, “The first thing I noticed was that it didn’t feel nearly as awesome as I had imagined. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. The only thing I’m thinking about is, ‘Oh my god, I must be gay.’ I thought I was bi this whole time because I’ve always found myself attracted to women more so than men, but here I am having sex with a woman and I can’t feel ANYTHING! The DJ at his wedding was dumped the night before the ceremony, and she only played break-up songs at the reception. "Married people of Reddit, what went wrong at your wedding? Maybe the third time isn't always the charm: The magistrate at DiffidentDissident's wedding called her by her husband's ex-girlfriend's name three separate times throughout the ceremony. I followed them up with some awkward kind of grunting.